O Tempo Passa? Não Passa [poema]

"
O tempo passa? Não passa
no abismo do coração.
Lá dentro, perdura a graça
do amor, florindo em canção.

O tempo nos aproxima
cada vez mais, nos reduz
a um só verso e uma rima
de mãos e olhos, na luz.

Não há tempo consumido
nem tempo a economizar.
O tempo é todo vestido
de amor e tempo de amar.

O meu tempo e o teu, amada,
transcendem qualquer medida.
Além do amor, não há nada,
amar é o sumo da vida.

São mitos de calendário
tanto o ontem como o agora,
e o teu aniversário
é um nascer toda a hora.

E nosso amor, que brotou
do tempo, não tem idade,
pois só quem ama
escutou o apelo da eternidade."

Carlos Drummond de Andrade

What if I am pretending?

          What if I am pretending? I smile all the time. Even when there is something bothering me. What if I am pretending my happiness? I see so many people complaining about how miserable they are and their life conditions are usually way better than mine. What if I have been pretending for so long that I started to believe in my own lie? Something like "a lie told often enough becomes the truth", you know? Now how can I know? How can I measure my happiness to see if it is true? It is not like I don't feel sad, it is just that it doesn't last. At all. When I get mad at someone or some situation, for example, I always forget about it after a while. And by after a while I mean 30 minutes tops. 

              What got me wondering was this video about fake happiness on social media. It showed how people would post happy and cheerful pictures when in truth they were posting a lie. They were miserable. I related to that because I always post some picture when I am feeling good. I have never posted a picture when I am a little depressed (I have other texts about low self esteem and believe me, even that doesn't last long). The biggest reason why is, well, I have always thought people who do that are just looking for attention. If you really are depressed, the last thing you think about is posting on social media. So why when we are happy we think about showing it off on social media? Is it to show people how great our lives are? Is it to rub their noses on our success? Is it because we have built this perfect life image and we are always looking to match or get as near as possible of it?

               What if I am pretending, my dear reader? How will I ever know? I guess I will have to keep pretending. Or I am just a happy person that is grateful for whatever share I get from life? Maybe that is it.

How lucky am I?

                I found the boy I always wanted. He makes me laugh even when I am upset. He has this perfect smile that he throws my way randomly. He tells me silly jokes that he knows I like very much. He brings me chocolate once a month when he knows I most need it. He makes me feel this good feeling in my belly every single time that he compliments me.

                I found the man of my dreams. He makes me feel loved. He makes me feel like the most important thing in his life and, somewhere deep down, I actually know that I am. He is my best friend and I am his. He showed me his weaknesses and I showed him his strengths. He holds me like a porcelain doll that requires his most devoted care. He kisses my forehead everyday and it is like I am being wrapped in his love from head to toes. 

                I found my fairy tale. My Prince Charming. My knight in shining armor. My life lasting love. And all of them are my beloved husband. How lucky am I?

It wasn’t love at first sight

It wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, I don’t think there is such a thing. We were young looking for someone to talk about any subject. You were a lonely boy with no friends and I was a girl with some self esteem problems. We were both smart and intelligent. We both had given up on love. You had past problems with ex-girlfriends. I had no ex-boyfriend at all. You had given up because you were hurt. I had given up because I thought I wasn’t worthy.

We became friends and soon we were best friends. But even then you did not let go of some flirting and all I could think was that you did it because we hadn’t met in person. You say I fell in love with you first, that you could tell I was mad for you right away. Although I always deny it in our conversations, I know it is true. You were/are my first love. And somehow I managed to make you fall in love with me too.

Today we are a happy married couple. You still are my best friend, the one person I know I can tell everything and that I can rely on no matter what happens. You still flirt with me and I think that is because love is blind. The difference is that I don’t care if it is blind or not I will do whatever it takes to keep you by my side. I have moved across the continent, haven’t I?

I love you. ♥